Wednesday, June 25, 2014

A Heavily-Introverted Person, a Notepad, and a World of Thoughts to Drill In

First and foremost, a forewarn to all that this contains wall of text. A lovely one, though - feel free to sit back, relax, and enjoy my avant-garde approach to this once-mainstream tagging fest.


Tagged by Bima Saddha Prabawa

'Once you've been tagged, you're supposed to write a note with 20
random things, facts, habits or goals about you, at the end choose 10 to be tagged. You've to tag the person who tagged you.', the inscription says.

Should I follow this instruction to its exact demand, anyway? My heart says not. Instead, let me post my visions that I gathered after years of self-researches within - my thoughts and facts of life, my destination-truth journeys, and my unraveled perceiving about the how the universe and one's mind connects. All has led to a conclusion that I stand true : the most beautiful realm possible lies within the depth of your mind.


1) Heavily influenced by's majestic, highly-philosophical writing style - 'Your Suicide Letter Had Spelling Errors' is the one I admire the most, no doubt. Ascending self into such level of excellency in this ever-grande literary world may took more than a lifetime...

2) Loves to delve into the world of thoughts and finding inner peace within myself at midnight... Say, psychology is interesting but philosophy is its perfect compliment.

3) As a result of the above, I envision my life as a responsible hedonist. That means - quoting from a very excellent article on elephantjournal - 'creating a pleasurable existence for all—including yourself—and doing what it takes to have that happen'. Is it self-explanatory enough, I wonder?

4) Regarding point #3 above, I often push this very self too hard to achieve this happiness (sacrificing a lot amount of my personal money, even). The grand reward - which is seeing others happy - really pays off in the end, anyway.

5) Also regarding point #3, although I described myself as a kind-of-hedonist I still enjoy the song 'Silent Spica - Anhedonia' ( a lot. Well, I never really cared about a song's title, to be honest - Anhedonia's just a good song being good.

6) Archetype is also another field in psychology that I enjoyed researching myself into - and the archetype I'm atrributed into is the Magician archetype ( Sometimes I feel like driving myself under the Creator archetype, but the Magician archetype's motto - 'I make things (magic) happen(s)' - fits the most with my point of view about this life.

7) Even before knowing about archetypes, I've been using the term 'magic happens' often in my real life when I was being asked 'How?'. I guess it's futile to resist this own natural call, anyway...

8) One who processes music with left brain, thanks to years of my intense breakcore, IDM, and (mostly) drum'n'bass auditory diet. (Still inferior on processing melodies, though)

9) Heavily introverted - a test on me earlier indicates my introversion level goes as high as 95%. I am currently greatly suffering from a condition called as the 'people exhaustion', which degenerates  into the 'ESFP's Dark Side' ( for more details)

10) Regarding point #10 above, I'm not the one who really enjoys hanging out or gathering around (I MUCH prefer recharging self on my room, working on something magical with my laptop or rather spending time alone on my 'haven' [read : Arcades with a lot of rhythm games]). That's what I need the most, really - feel free to read this excellent article ( which greatly fits my solitary, yet often-forefront personality.

11) VERY often considered that (I'm) much older than what I currently am. There's this point of my life (three years ago, approximately) where I was perceived as a 'female second-year college student, majoring in English literature'.

12) Without any doubt, creating a LINE account is a thing I regret the most at this point of my life. It made me somehow paranoid with not knowing the latest issue(s) and diminishes my productivity a LOT. I planned on uninstalling it but - well, it seems like people are greatly attached to it nowadays as their primary information sharing scene and it's impossible for me to escape this fiendlike cluster due to this (at least for the time being)

13) Was, at one point on my college life so far, underwent a nomadic life of four exhausting-yet-meaningful days with very minimal time spent on my current residence. This is due to my business and hectic schedule back then, which requires my persistence in various places (ranging from Dago Asri, which is located in Bandung's far north, to Taman Holis, which is located in Bandung's far south). I learned and enjoyed a lot of new things during this nomadic phase, though.

14) Regarding point #13 above, I took shelter in four different places during my pseudo-hermitic outdoor life back then. I have to thank a lot of my internet friends for making this possible and letting me conjure awesome stuffs throughout many places on this one, though!

15) I often foresaw that we're currently living in a world which demands that being only perfect is not enough. The grand puzzle is simple yet intricating - how could one reach out to that very pinnacle?

16) One who pays interest in oneironautism, as you might have known already - succeeded several times on lucid dreaming and out-of-body-experience inducing throughout this year, even. One interesting thing is I began to experience multiple pavor nocturnuses soon enough after I did a research on this, and - yes, I know this might sound crazy - I see pavor nocturnus as a fun-yet-interesting experience that one should try to induce sometimes. (Caution : Highly recommended for one to understand what pavor nocturnus is at first before delving further - side effects from violating this suggestion could cause a disrupting mayhem)

17) Suffers (or blessed?) from Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS) - a somewhat common sleep disorder in which many people wrongly perceives as insomnia. Midnight is the time where I can find absolute light - which, in the synergy with point #2 above, lies beneath own's very labyrinth of thought.

18) My current profile picture is actually my current desktop background (, in which I designed for reason no other than productivity. Yes, you're seeing it right - no icons, hidden taskbar, nothing but pure love. Say, I love the shape heart, but - contrary to all my deeply philosophical sayings in the earlier points - it has no meaning, really. It just worked beautifully.

19) It took me more than a week to gradually compile and actually finish this note. The result is far beyond satisfying, anyway!

20) Writing this actually helps reducing my stress level. A lot.


...well, actually I never intended to tag anyone. I never claimed that what I said is the most true, or standing firm without flaw - it's just a guiding, shining beacon that I personally have been following since a routine internal psyclash recurred within my solitude.


In case you're wondering : Yes, the rambling above is my most recent writing (which I posted back then on my Facebook, under Bima Saddha Prabawa - a friend of mine - 's 'challenge'. The outcome was incredibly satisfying, therefore I decided to port the text here for wider audience to read about my then-unrevealed side (: