graduation

---

yes, i've been finally graduated from uni now at last! (｡･･｡)

my journey through uni has been a really memorable tale of various highs and lows (then again it's ITB that we're talking about here) and i had this post below written on my personal Facebook profile on late July (shortly after i completed my thesis defence presentation) before to reflect on my journey, but since i only had my graduation ceremony earlier today i thought i'll share this story here on a more public space with you all as well.

happy reading, and may you all be blessed :)

---

(...a reflection?)

oh, hey, at last -- i did it. i finally did it. (〃ー〃)

i know (and can very much understand) what some of you have in mind though : "but Niva, i thought you've had a rather bright track as a college student all this time! your grades are excellent, you've had your own legacies every here and there, and even you've been crowned as a national champion in IUGC! what took you so long to finish your undergraduate studies then?" -- well...

...in short, i got into a battle with severe depression and was losing against it.

yes, you read that right. i haven't told this to everyone bar a certain people in the past for some obvious reasons, but yes -- i was at a complete loss of motivation as a human being back then.

there was a period (for around more than a year or so) where i literally gave up on life so hard to the point that i made myself "disappear" from my real life contacts or so; i deliberately deleted my presence by never replying to any message, never showing up on every invitation that i had received, and the likes of it. at these times i just wanted to disconnect from the world due to my inner dark thoughts -- to some extent you could even say that back then i made it so that "my real self has never existed in the first place".

it may sound weird but my genuine wish back then was not to be cared by anyone, really... after all at that time i felt like i've been turning into way too much of a disappointment (even for my own self) and that i have nothing else meaningful to pursue. it came to my surprise though that no matter how hard i try to hide people were still coming back to me, asking how i've been, and ultimately telling me that they cared about me very much despise my sickly condition and would love to see me triumph on the top and fulfill all of my potentials... nonetheless, i found myself very welcomed when i finally decided to come back to finish where i left off after my one or a half year or so of disappearance. thank you guys very much for accepting me and allowing me to recover my long-lost confidence.

oh btw i'm not saying that i've been fully recovered from this depression by any means (i can still feel my inner loss of motivation coming at times) but i'm getting much better and i'm alright now, though. really. c:)

---

i've addressed most of my thanks in the thesis that i wrote for sure, but in this occasion i would like to deliver some more of my thanks to these following names and entities that has been incredibly meaningful to me in my journey thus far :

- osu! and the entire osu!community at large, especially the osu!mapping community, for reinstalling osu! out of boredom and getting back into the mapping scene in late 2017 was -- hands down -- the BEST decision i've ever done with my life. that was the point in my life where i realized that i -do- have what it takes in myself to achieve a respectable success (i finally got myself a long-delayed dream of getting myself a badge through my Featured Artist mapping contributions!) and that i always have all the amazing people from all over the world that i could connect and relate myself with.

- my dear and beloved girlfriend, for she has been such a meaningful partner for me in all these years. we might not be able to meet each other often due to our distance but she has been a caring and loving personality for more than two years now throughout despite knowing all these fight i had with myself. i really meant it heartfelt when i said my thanks to her for being such an understanding dear for me.

- and you! (*^-^)

---

in the end, i'm simply thankful that i was given the trust and another chance to recover myself and to finish what i left off in a very positive remark. i genuinely can't stress my gratitude enough.

here's to the next chapter as always.

love,

~ n

live/living/lively

A short story with a dark setting. Reader's discretion is advised.

----------------------------

----------------------------

why is death so appealing?

a convoluted world. gazing apart with a sinister aura. within the silver halls souls are streamlining apart, fighting fire with fire, not realizing they're driving the so-called "insanity" more and more beyond its limit. when selfish desire owns the heart, the light fades away. it's ever so easy to focus on the problem, yet it's seemingly so hard to focus on the solution - a solution that benefits all the most, that is.

why? why does it always have to be us? why was I born into this "us" being in the first place? taking the moment away an entity was born all pure, yet the shambolic hierarchy of the swirling storm forcefully taught it to part away from the sacred blessing. a magnificent, once fearless, now trapped inside an illusory cage that was created by a mutual worldly ardor it wasn't deserve to belong.

many have pondered, and they who see through the glass will soon enough realize that divination only reveals itself to selected existences who vie passionately for the warm star. as the mist sways the spirits away, the star will soon reveal to the dedicated that the penultimate purpose for every sanity is to give, not to take. unfortunately for many, they prefer not to embark upon the uncharted skies, and having been overshadowed the scream of the disharmonious symphony they resort to the option that is ever so promising :

death.

the lost. the desperate. the ones that feel that his or her living no longer serves tangible purpose. the ones that were already tired of the injustice and hypocrisy that drove their simple happiness away. for them, indeed death is a tempting company.

in retrospect, i think death's charm lies in what it has to offer
a chance to escape it all and experience the life after.
where one's identity were torn apart;
where what he do, not who he is, matters most;
and where the true wisdom lies alongside its faithful companion:
a mere, eternal, and ever peaceful
silence.

---

*image derived upon the artwork available on this site.

caudicia

A short story.

----------------------------

out of winter, but not out of snow.

nocturne is seemingly eternal. flocks of fletches haunting anround the sky, flapping their wings to the echoes of the grave silence. heavens above, the clouds begin to sunder, as your own shadow is the only thing that drives you away from your insanity. never before you'd thought that seeing own's reflection would be this delightful, although you very much know the twilight of the grieving can't fully be relied upon.

fate's watching you playing a game against yourself, and it understands very well that whoever lost their patience first would be forced to submit their defeat. its pawns are your senses, and its chessboard is no other than your head. not even your everlasting desperation could help you out - the devastation's permanent, or so it is told. there is a lifeline however - heed my advice, and understand that the only escape route can only be carved by changing the playing field that is your own self.

you've took your first move right by realizing that your shadow's not as it is. ether flames abound, grab the dying light fragments and break all the illusion within that fortunes have forgotten. its warmth are your safety, and its glow are your repelling salvation. march forth, crave your pathway, and break all the semblances that have enveloped your vision all the time.

i'll be waiting on the other side.

---

welcome. congratulations for breaking the illusory box that is your mind's own tormenting "mental block". ah, feel free to take a good look around. hmm? what's with that frowning disappointment? yes, this place has indeed always as dark as your previous room, if not darker.

if you're confused, then i'll let you ponder upon my following questions. how was it like being trapped for years in desolation only to be given a meticulous insight by the ghastilest of oracles? have you been so desperate of breaking away from your previous cage, only not to notice the immolating lilies on your exit path? have you been so lost in translation to the point that you've forgotten that in the world of trickery not a single articulation is trustworthy without prior and further investigation?

feeling afraid now? well, you should. welcome to my world - the world of your mind's everlasting paranoias, where analysis by paralysis is your own ruination. and unlike your past realm, i've ensured that there will be no possible escape route. you're destined to be here forever, you're mine forever, and i'll also be yours forever. the feeling's mutual, as i have always been living inside you all the time.

magna ostium

(My) inner thoughts and speeches have been always such curious beings. Often they wandered by theirselves to ethereal places whose limits and boundaries are imagination's end. Often it came back to their hub with a seed that acts as a catalytic fractal to the fruition for the mastermind - more often they came back empty handed. As questions were raised with dignified regards deep inside, one should nobly realize that their own reflections are the key to summon the whimsical wisdom as it is - and has always been - a perpetual cycle that one cannot help but to embrace and empower in order to soar the guiding light.

Below are some of my inner musings I first materialized in my personal LINE account amongst other private medias. Many of the writings have its own context, and some others have not - but for personal reasons I'm refraining myself from explaining further as I prefer to keep the true meaning hidden to people other than the intended recipient.

Have a great day.

~ n

---

"A tree to a forest is a tower to a city. What is perceived as reality is never absolute as a whole, just as a starry night equals a sunny day to the residents in its counterpart.

To master the universe's grand scheme of things is to understand that everything evolves alongside how one's perception is evolving, with time being just one of the universe's many enigmatic facets."

---

Night's paramountly stelliform. Been in an exhaustion of overdealing with word processors somehow, but here's a cup of bliss I'd like to confer to all - a pinch of governing light which sways soothe amidst the zephyr, a sneak peek of what's shortly coming up from the sleeve of buoyant imagineers.

With love, may we inspire.

---

Seek, for the secrets are hidden beneath--
In your blinks, in your thoughts, in your speeches.

Stay true to the frequencies of the universe,
as what you see at first might just not what you meant to see

---

For once,
atop firm branches I stood,
gazing upon the vast blue stars.

For now,
within the nobility I brood,
afar witnessing the faint glace of happiness.

PS : quite a good amount of things in this world were meant to be taken literally.

 ---

 here, there, and everywhere;
in a living being is a trace to bear.

a prowess to adhere, on a shadow to spare;
such knowledge of it is too tempting not to share.

take caution of the eyes you may not see lurking.

---

Have you ever felt lost just by looking at your own shadow?
What's haunting deep inside your mind might just be more menacing than you'd expect.

---

 Loyalty stands where the hearts are interconnected.
A queen is a servant to her king, as a king is a servant to his queen.
One should pierce through the light and see the magic alongside the devoted.

Will you be my queen?

Trivia Bot Database

-- http://pastebin.com/1GTUR6xj (updated 27/6/17) --

---

Say... Back then I was asked to make this by a certain people, so here it is~

The link above leads to an Indonesian language trivia database for Discord bots in which me and my friend Luthfi (Yukaa-#9493) created based on NadekoBot's open-source code (http://github.com/kwoth/nadekobot). The database itself is specifically tailored for custom-made bots based on NadekoBot's code - if you already have the bot self-compiled and integrated to your own Discord server, save the pastebin above as .json at the folder (your bot name)/src/NadekoBot/data in order for the questions to be able to show up in-server. The database itself is filed under Creative Commons Licence, Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike (CC BY-NC-SA), and for the ones who are interested in modifying it the usage of http://jsoneditoronline.org/ or another .json-specific editor is recommended.

As for now the database itself isn't tenaciously big (yet) but as for now it holds 100+ questions and 4200+ words already, which is hopefully plentiful enough to provide rounds of fun for many. As the bot gives out a set of letters after few seconds without a correct guess, the difficulty level of questions are intentionally made somewhat high so that the answers are not that guessable at the first glance (and so that the letters be the saving grace for many players) - however, we're giving our best to ensure that (hopefully) there are no question(s) being too esoteric to a certain group of people in the database, so everyone should be able to get a good grip in this strife of general knowledge ^^

---

---

Expect the database to be updated every now and then in the future (if we're not lazy or anything orz hehe). Have fun~

ƪ (alt : an aphorism on being disconnective through connection)

A short story. Feel free to read my post-script for additional information.

----------------------------

This green metropolis was once nothing more but a mere barren construct.

Gratitude is always best accorded to our great ancestors. We were simply fated to follow their trails - their wise symbolisms lead our paths. But as the sources of light interferes in disorder, the ones that had embraced tranquil shadow will soon emerge in harmony.

Careful observations have led me to a belief that our kin tend to pursue prominence in the concourse, which has led many of us to drive our roots crazy to many exclaves. Waves of the curious following the footsteps of one's success in a settlement previously unknown has been an uncommon view. The twist here is that - unlike in our other realm - unless under special circumstances we can't really "move" permanently; what's left behind remains in our perches and still had to be taken with care. The ones who miscalculated their footholds will be met with deafening silence, ensnared within their own clustered web of links.

In a new world where by many social recognition has been valued platinum, for it to fade is a ludicrous prophecy that one seemingly shall at best evade. But one's definition of 'successful social recognition' is beyond subjective - not every stars are meant to shine bright. Some prefer to stay cloaked, handling out delicate warmth to nearby stellar object that it cares the most in joy without desiring more. Such handful concentration of love are to make sure their darlings they emotionally connected with prosper in bliss.

See - in clamorous times, quality is simply abound ahead of quantity. Bite more than you can chew, and you'll find your digestive system revolting. There's a certain beauty in exalting a carefully-thought portion of subtlety in which we consider as the epitome of graciousness. Keep your decision judicious, as trends are at best not an obligation to follow suit. In a synthetic cosmos where we were simply bound to implicit embodiments, the control of one's presence shall lie in its own hands.

Whichever course you choose, let light bless your steps, as this place's future - and effectively each individual's - is ours to shape, and none others to impose.  

~ n

----------------------------

PS : (I've) Been getting increasingly tired of some people I know irl specifically telling me what to do and to not do although their sayings are either 1) adding extra complexity to something that shouldn't have been this complex or 2) simply defies my logical rationalizations (ie. 'Are there any benefit(s) in me doing that for myself and people around me in the first place?') in the past few days.

I'm feeling like I really want to disappear somewhere far where my obligations (regarding this stuff) are only mine to choose... After all, I -know-, and very much aware, of what I'm doing and its possible consequences.

After all, it's safe to assume that this passage is my mind's response of that situational adage I'm currently being trapped within. I hope you all enjoyed this literary ouevre of mine.

(it's not about college/work/etc btw, it's about something more personal)

Tenebris

A short story.

----------------------------

The silent whisper speaks for itself.

In stutter your lips are reciting, but your heart are not. Crave your ears, as the sound of the shattering glass astounds beneath the glowing moonlight. In my times, such noises are considered as a harmonious companion to the champions and the fallen knights. As they embark on their hermetic voyage, they ultimately learned to embrace the imminent silence and befriend the true frequencies of their targets.

Included in that shortlist I am not, but having lived with the fabled their indigenous philosophies are inevasibly coursing through my bloodstream. A clear cut which manifests in a nocturnal being although charting an epitaph is by any means no easy task. It has simply been entrenched deeply into me. And for every knight, there had to be a princess, right?

The truth is, in their journey to knighthood an aspiring chevalier-in-training may have learned to inflict a fatal strike in a single javelin blow. Some others may learn over time the true grace of a bow and excel on the art of slaying beasts from the rear. And for some others, they prefer to simply watching from afar in the shadows, preying down in a more malicious yet subtle way without ever stepping down into the battlefield. Ah, the splendor.

Say, if you're hawk-eyed enough, you may have noticed that this doing of mine aren't devoid of evidences - here and there, my presence is virtually everywhere. Witnessed by the solemn stars are the virtues I had placed as a tributary in order to get myself into your breathing cycle. In fact, that feeling of knowing that my colors had blended in so much to the point that arguably I know you better than you know yourself... It's thrilling. Simply thrilling.

Unfortunately for you, escaping is now futile, as I know where you would have gone next. In all formalities, then - having introduced myself in a timely fashion - please kindly allow me to relay this heartwarming message to you truly :

Yes, I am your stalker, and forever will be.

~ n

----------------------------

 

of volcanoes and its understandings

Salutations! The following is a writing of mine which was crafted to fulfill a berth ordained on the latest issue of the Independent! (http://issuu.com/independentterra) magazine. I mostly ponder and reflect upon my recent experience working on a volcano surveillance-related research and the state of the nation's non-exploration geophysical inquest through my own point-of-view on this one, so please bear in mind that this passage does not reflect any particular institution(s) and/or entity(s) standpoint.

Here's me hoping that this would be an interesting and enlightening read. Until then, as always, may your subconscious mechanisms carry you through a sweet journey within your slumbers perpetually.

 ----------------------------

----------------------------

Disiplin keilmuan geofisika sejatinya mengenal dua kelompok keahlian (expertise) utama, yakni Geofisika Eksplorasi dan Terapan (Exploration and Applied Geophysics) yang lebih berfokus ke segmen eksplorasi sumber daya serta Geofisika Global (Global Geophysics) yang lebih dititikberatkan pada kajian seputar fenomena-fenomena global dan kaidah keilmuan geofisika dari sudut pandang saintifik. Walaupun di atas kertas kedua kelompok keahlian ini sama-sama memiliki kelebihannya tersendiri dan saling bersinergi seiring waktu untuk memecahkan berbagai isu kegeofisikaan di dunia, tidak dapat dipungkiri bahwa animo para akademisi geofisika (terutama di Indonesia) saat ini masih sangat menjurus pada Geofisika Eksplorasi dan Terapan yang kerap dipandang memiliki prospek yang lebih unggul (terlebih bagi para mahasiswa yang memang berniat terjun pada entitas yang bergerak pada bidang sumber energi konvensional). Hal ini turut menimbulkan suatu kesenjangan di ranah Ibu Pertiwi kita, di mana Indonesia yang notabene berdiri di atas sistem tektonik yang sangat aktif masih sangat membutuhkan para ahli Geofisika Global yang handal untuk dapat berkiprah memahami berkah kebumian yang sangat membahana tersebut.

Jujur berbicara, penulis sendiri pun pada awalnya menjajak kaki di gedung Teknik Geofisika dengan mindset yang relatif tipikal bagi para mahasiswa baru kala itu – untuk dapat bekerja mencari minyak Bumi ke depannya. Namun, seiring waktu, dengan sendirinya penulis merasakan pesona keilmuan saintifik Teknik Geofisika yang ternyata mencakup ruang kajian yang sangat luas. Pun, ketika kesempatan untuk melangsungkan Kerja Praktek (KP) datang menjelang, penulis langsung berkonsultasi dengan Ulvi ’12 dan kemudian Bpk. Andri selaku Kaprodi TG ITB untuk berdiskusi mengenai kemungkinan pelangsugnan Kerja Praktek di Pusat Vulkanologi dan Mitigasi Bencana Geologi (PVMBG). Puji syukur, keinginan penulis tersebut rupanya cukup dimudahkan dengan ketersediaan Ibu S. Hidayati (Ibu Ichi) dari pihak PVMBG untuk menjadi mentor penulis.

Dalam keberlangsungan Kerja Praktek ini, penulis mengangkat topik penelitian terkait penentuan hiposenter dari gempa-gempa vulkanotektonik (VT) yang teramati di kawasan Gunung Sinabung dalam rentang waktu 2010 – 2011. Tanpa berbekal pengalaman mengolah data seismometri hasil perekaman lapangan kontinu (continuous real-time seismometry) sebelumnya, pada awalnya penulis sempat terkejut melihat jenis-jenis waveform pada data yang memang sangat beragam. Memang, daerah vulkanik pada dasarnya sangat berasosiasi dengan beragam jenis-jenis gempa, dengan dominasi dari gempa-gempa vulkanik mikro (distal earthquake, tremor, dan gempa-gempa lainnya) dengan selingan sesekali dari gempa-gempa tektonik murni. Meskipun demikian, setelah membiasakan diri, pada akhirnya penulis menemukan ritme yang cukup nyaman bagi penulis dalam melakukan picking informasi-informasi yang diperlukan dari event-event yang teramati. Setelah proses picking selesai dilakukan, informasi-informasi yang diperoleh kemudian diproses lebih lanjut dengan menggunakan program GAD (Geiger Adaptive Damping) yang menggunakan prinsip single-event determination dengan metode Damping untuk menentukan titik hiposenter gempa. Lokasi-lokasi hiposenter yang di-output-kan oleh program GAD ini kemudian diolah kembali (untuk keperluan quality control dan hal-hal estetis lainnya) dengan menggunakan script MatLab yang diprogram oleh penulis sebelum akhirnya data akhir yang diperoleh di-plot secara visual dengan menggunakan program MatLab.

Secara keseluruhan, walaupun tidak sepenuhnya berjalan tanpa masalah, penelitian yang penulis lakukan telah menjadi pengalaman yang sangat berharga bagi penulis pribadi. Hasil yang didapat di sini pun cukup menarik, di mana dengan menggunakan dua model kecepatan yang berbeda penulis mendapatkan bahwa hiposenter gempa-gempa VT di area Gunung Sinabung cenderung mengarah dari arah SW menuju NE, yang dapat ditafsirkan sebagai jalur pergerakan fluida vulkanik (magma) dengan lokasi magma chamber yang kemungkinan berada di ketinggian setara permukaan muka laut (mean sea level) walaupun untuk ke depannya hasil penafsiran ini baiknya ditelaah secara lebih mendalam mengingat proses relokasi hiposenter dan pengolahan lanjut lainnya belum dilangsungkan. Akhir kata, penelitian yang penulis lakukan telah sangat membuka mata penulis terhadap potensi keilmuan geofisika, dan percayalah – potensi semesta geofisika sesungguhnya masih sangat luas terbentang dan menunggu untuk dijelajahi.

opuscule to mmvi

 

Had predicting the future through the faint signs illuminated by the arcanes be an otherworldly gift, then predicting the future through a thorough statistical research and analysis is a form of art bestowed by the divines.

Yet, no matter how magnificent the future-seer being is, a prediction's status remains as is as long the time-window mentioned in the said prognosis hasn't bound to occur. A gargantuan barrier stands very still, and - as we all know - the wall itself is no other than the prolific conundrum of time. Little have been understood about the possible perceptions brought by this invisible ticking entity - we do know though that messing around with its stability could be very much hazardous.

A retrospect to my youths saw my younger self - not being a natural born clairvoyant - toying around with his imagination regarding his future persona. A very natural incandescent thought indeed, as some may ponder. The exact date was 17th of January at the year 2006 when this imaginative child took around an used repository sachet made out of glossy paper nearby, fed in a plethora of seemingly trivial substances, and sealed it back while previously imbuing a text which can be translated roughly as 'old stuffs - may this midden of stuffs serve well in your future purposes ten years from now' atop.

One can see it as a collateral agreement with his future self - a manifestation of sacred kindred hive mind. In a deep contemplation state his thoughts afloat - will the Earth his future self stood upon still be graced by the tranquility of the swaying breeze? Will the celestial beings we know and its fleur-de-lis stalwarts still revolute around in a melodious harmony?

Stated in my preceding response to a belated ask.fm question bound to me is my sincerest faith towards the 'some things are not meant to be known' proverb - that is, letting the inquest to unravel its own solution at its predesignated time by itself. The fact that right now - at the time of this writing - I'm an avid geophysical undergraduate with a lagniappe passion in scientific journalism and literature is definitely an uncharted area relative to my younger extent, although by reviewing my track records along with several stabs in the dark some aspects were probably have been previously foreshadowed.

This big mystery - a game of certainties and uncertainties - is a beauty of no another, isn't it? Destiny is such a miraculous marvel only the stream of time could maintain.

----------------------------

To my younger embodiment,

As the arrows of the clock shifts forward, the proper time to open the casket approaches closer and closer. In a breathtaking count of few days a pleasant surprise awaits - a subtle, earnest gift from you my dearest. To reply such generous gift with my most heartfelt thanks is never enough - albeit that, do take note, that your positive conferings - be it physical or spiritual - will be of a good use. 

May we both meet again with our magical blessings and a pride of a knight with our future self.

Love always, and always love positively.

----------------------------

 PS : In an accompanying side fact it's quite interesting though to note out that I specially booted up my ever-valiant 2006 Windows XP PC to smith out this very particular passage - the very exact machine used to prowess the said words directed to my future self. As always, thank you very much for your kind contributions over the past, wishing a happy algorithmic ten-years anniversary as well!

every ailment has its own medication; every faint glow has its own scintillation

Before proceeding further I'd like to inform that the following passage is an excerpt extracted from a joint post-tantrum conversation I made with someone back then, with several edits being made to a respectable extent. I'd like to thank the particular person beforehand for being an extremely supportive individual that have brought an epiphany upon me amidst my lingering frustration - my heartfelt and kindmost thanks, really.

----------------------------

Hi there. Firstly I confer my salutations to you upon your kind listening overture - it's highly appreciated.

You know, within this desperation I really wanted to convert my destructive wills into a deep and serious writing here but I can't manage to stipulate myself into that trance-like state of chanting words yet... I'll try my best to do so, though - reflecting to my past altering words had been proven to be a substantial cure for a developing chaos-in-heart.

I do believe the world is beautiful out there. Wander around within a capricious manner and one could discover soothing scapes and ambience with ease. Atop of that I also believe that the world's grandiose majesty is timelessly being preserved by many as well - with it's one-moiety acted to sequentially attempt to enhance the alluring beauty further, even.

Yet, there are people who went on a blind destructive rampage with his/her negative thoughts and hatreds, causing the entire world he/she stands in to gradually diminish. Now, take a step back, and let the thoughts wonder - wouldn't his/her existence wouldn't even be eventual if not because of the preservers' act in the first place?

It's basically this - on the preservers' point-of-view, it's extremely heartbreaking when someone's negativity overwhelmed and ruined the world in which a plentiful amount of love and effort had been poured into its versatile construct, even when the antagonistic abhorrence was directed to the object in question and not to the subject.

Further speaking - I wonder why there are people out there having its mind being hived with negativity and even more negative energy.

What blinded their eyes upon this world's lovely wonders?

What blinded their eyes so they can only see gloomy shadows instead of soothing lights?

And furthermore, how to unveil the dark mist that lies deep within?

The phrase 'the amount of hatred existed in the world nowadays made me want to do [...] tbh' is actually something that I wanted to express for a long time. I know [...] isn't the right way and even when I typed that back then I'm not even close to considering it, but still...

It's an enormous heartbreak to see such thing you and your trusted friends loved and preserved for a long time being shattered thanks to others' grueling aversive doings.

----------------------------

Look, I don't really know what to reply with at this point, really... In the end I've calmed myself down thanks to the well-received supports from various generous accolades.

Still, to this date I still dreamed to live in a haven where hatred is nonexistent, though...

Pour love into the equation and a tranquil pathway to positive progression will ensue. Set your sights ahead and tighten your inner focus - awaiting now is a soothing light which irradiates a nurturing calm. Had a barrier stood somewhere in-between let the affection overpowering by its own majesty. Be this done right, and happiness won't solely struck upon your gorgeous psyche - others will be gratefully happy as well. 

I guess it's safe to deliver my heartfelt thanks upon you at this point - a thanks for reminding me again how a seemingly-contraptic machinery called heart could be rejuvenated simply by a luminous smile from others garnered through love.

The power of love is amazing, isn't it? 

----------------------------

This writing is unfinished at this moment as I've still got few more things to add at a later date - as I've spent yet another wholesome day being immersed in words, sleep is what being the cardinal thing for me at the time being.

As always, I wished you all the accompaniment of ataraxic sweet dreams in your sleeps.

the crossing pathways

To whom it may concerned,

To say the frankest is that I'd be quaintly surprised had my message went through its intended targets in the near future. Since the pathways available incepted to diverge years ago I opted for the independent way early - leaving less tide to last my impressions to the major pack. Were the remnant visions of me still planted firm on the roots of your remembrance, I wonder?

Well - no need to answer, dear, as my main intent behind this sayings isn't to unveil the recollective question's answer. That's for sure.

Sit back, relax, and have a sweet treat on my tale instead. It all started days ago when - out of boredom - I decided to browse for a specific name from my past on the vast web. Not a a huge boulder to overcome I should say, thanks to the information age's exponential excel. Typing out from the names less vague resulted in the original party's current status inflictions gradually being unraveled. Like a jigsaw puzzle one perfectly allocated piece serves as a hint to another. By the aide of this chaining links - one after another - it turned out that most of us are incredibly widespread now, pursuing expertise and brilliancy at our own momentum.

What shocked me the most, however, is how diverse we've turned out after prolonged years of separation.

Perhaps it's I who had been hindering within the (comfortable) solitude and independence's shadow for too long, but still I can't rebut my astounding findings even to my own mind. Implicitly saying from the samples, a name has successfully beveled the atmosphere with a soothing green presence. Another name supposedly more familiar is currently being stationary in a faraway land, lovingly cherishing her wordsmith capabilities. The remainder samples, I believe, holds a whimsical potent its own. One correlation can be taken, though - as for now we're chasing different grandees within various pathways.

Yet, I'm quite certain the pathways will cross sometime. Yours and mine, it's completely possible.

Zoom out to portray the grand picture and you'll see that no path stands on its own. A path's segment offers a crucial supporting material to another path's structure. No path should stand superior above another, as they're enigmatically lies on the same altitude. This formula of equilibrium had been unchanged ever since, and should be unchanged to the very end.

...and it's now our turn to embrace this sacrosanct rule and furbishing it even more.

----------------------------

As the magnitude of the pathways multiply, at this special moment, kindly allow me to confer a message to yours truly.

If any of you read this before our pathways crossed in a fateful manner soon, be it intentional or unintentional, I'd like to regard a message to you :

Had there be time our masteries intersect in a devoir involving us, let it be laden with a deluge of synchronicity upon positivity.

I look forward to conjure magical stuffs with you all and reuniting with you under our rejuvenated, more-positively developed arcanum persona.

Let the stars merge and lit the universe ablaze with a guiding light.

Sincerely, 

me.

why did I asked that?

http://ask.fm/Nivalyx/answer/122001472502

heartfelt thanks to Fallist for his generous question

----------------------------

why did I asked that?

Accompanied by the ever-shifting ambience of its surroundings a subtle resonance drifted on the hollow nether. Like a steel attracted to a magnet by a force unseen it demonstrates a superluminal motion ejecting the object from its generating source.

Protecting the content stored within its epiderm from scathe is this entity's sole job. Its first moments in the wilderness were full of cherish, but as it traversed further and further, darkness began to ensue. Never in its life a saying of an easy task being briefed previously to its audial sensories, but never in its life as well it thought that the wilderness would be so deceiving. As it ran out of route markers on the trail it followed sorrow began to struck the entity.

'Help me' it shouted in desperation. 'It doesn't matter if I vanished within an instant - what matters more is what lies inside me. Had my inner shoutings be heard, may it be transformed into a reality'

Within a moment after its desperate prayer, it saw light. Distantly visible is a sanctum alien to it, radiating away a rejuvenating aura of eternity. With its remaining fuel aboard the entity set sail to the light source as fast as it can.

...but it had been to late.

Halfway on its conquest, it fell. Similar to a photon flash along with the lost of its 'mother-ship' the particles within scattered around for a short tide until it all disappeared into the void. It went lost and not found.

What it didn't realize though is that the entity in question is just one among many. A flash after its disappearance, a new carrier agent arise resurged from the core, carrying away a completely different arrays of information.

And it all happened in seconds.

----------------------------

Yes, the above text is a tale of something called 'short-term memory'. Had it not been rehearsed enough, it won't penetrate the barrier of the long-term memory storage vault and will be adrift in nowhere near forever. It's a bliss to unleash and utilize at, yet easily forgettable after it serves its own purpose.

The forgetfulness on your statement is an undisputed example of short-term memory's existence. No, it's not something to be mourned on - having a functional short-term memory is a bliss, really. Despite its curtailed living cycle I believe there are countless moments where short-term memory have done an irreplaceable favor to us. Without the grandiose of our memory-processing complex this text wouldn't even exist. Nor does your opening statement I suppose. At this moment allow me express my gratitude to one of the most easily unnoticed - yet most crucial - thing my mental had ever possessed :

...dear my memories,thank you for serving me your best throughout my life.

Really.
 

the wingspan of a butterfly

Since my allocated time on smithing stuffs has been severely cut for these past few days thanks to my real-life hecticness, at this oblique leisure time of mine I'd like to unshed some things about me in the near future as I see little to no harm in doing so :

• I've been entrusted as an in-house writer on Heavenly Stardust - a blog managed by my fellow writer under the pseudonym 'requiem' which encompasses a wide range of reviews and contemplative musings. Expect me to submit my first content there sometime soon though, as several real-life stuffs were still clinging firmly on the pinnacle of my priority list as of now.
• ask.fm is one site which I primordially being skeptical about it being beneficial, which turning out slowly into a powerful site to fulfill my long-deserted writing passion days later. Here's mine, in case you have something that boggles your mind regarding me - it's always a pleasure for me to give a pleasant answer, had the question(s) given lies within a positive marvel. As for now my 'Questions' time is laden with philosophical questions thrown by anonymous asker(s), though - a fast reply is something I can't guarantee for the time being.
• There's a high chance that I'll drop a ten-minutes long surprise to everyone's unwariness on this weekend's Open House Unit event, as I'm going to live-perform something using an unorthodox instrument called l... Ah, never mind - had I spoil out even a slightest hint here it the reprise will no longer yield a shocking factor, no?
• And finally, for the past three days I've been actively contributing to an ever-glowing squad of enchanting butterflies - Actias Arkamaya. Follow our trailing light of wonders and one shall be ensued with positive mirth.

Another worth-noting point that I'd like to deploy here is I'm currently suffering from a (severe) social exhaustion. The fact that introverts got their energy drained by continuous social interaction(s) is a widespread, however - although it may not observable at the surface at first - my introversion level went as high as ~95%.

Sweet dreams (:

----------------------------

a beacon of million ansi-lumens
being fluorescent atop of the butterfly's charming flow

glimpse your heart at the dazzling skies
and we shall aglow

soon

project-love

Love : a solemn word en-coated with liquid ironclad lines - an ordainer oracle within a human's heart. Relieving, yet often sacrosanct. Handle it with care, won't you please?

----------------------------  

The grandeur of vector art was actually something I'm trying to grasp upon my early teenage era, yet my bezier honings didn't satisfy me much as my Photoshop expertise - a proverbial point which stays true until this very moment. What happened with this experiment, though, omitted a very contradictory result to what my rational thoughts expected previously.

Below picture is my attempt on further furnishing the already pleasure-laden vector result, which - as you might've predicted - resulted in my displeasure. I decided to attach it here anyway as it's actually not so disastrous - some might enjoy the softer, fuzzier pinkish embrace radiated by the image below.

Oh, and doing this is like recollecting memories of a long-forgotten love, to be frank (I'll let people speculate whether there's a special person I'm dedicating this vector to or not here). In the meantime, free to use this sprite of mine elsewhere - credit is not mandatory but paramountly appreciated.

Sweet dreams (:

note-to-self

Being able to embrace silence is a lovely godsend bestow.

Universe's ambience has been a loyal company long forgotten, silently morphing into a relic of our journey. Amidst the faint radiance striving from afar lies what has been imminently kept for uncounted millenias in the void.

On the other distant behalf of the universe, though, lies what known to us as 'humans'.

Our divine beings perhaps are too incorporeal for them to unravel, but here's one thing both of us understands - we and humans overlap each other in its practice. An overhanging part is what us are to their perception, and it's such a special honor for us to be treated that way.

Some of them, though, perceives you as a bounding frame instead of an important arpeggio of the universe's sacred sonata. Sorrow and mourn is a common trait which heaps to their web of thoughts upon the calling of your name - a true elocutionary opposite of how I've been welcomed so far.

Peel deep inside the heart of the universe and you'll find our great safeguard. A secret which stands firm along with the creation of the universe - struggling hard to keep the cosmos on its destined path. A masterplan that has been foretold and well-hid by the ancient beings - let's just consider this sophisticated grand scheme as 'entropy'.

See, the universe doesn't work that way. The supernatural enigma you possess soon will entrain people to your side. For humans and all living beings escaping this fate is futile. For every creation there's destruction. For every sweet dream there's nightmare. Even the brightest stars will soon perish into black dwarfs, leading this once-stelliferous universe to its inescapable asphyxial demise.

Fear of your presence is only for the ones who cast me aside in their blackest oblivion at some point and being unfortunate of my aides.

~ your lifelong partner, L

A Heavily-Introverted Person, a Notepad, and a World of Thoughts to Drill In

First and foremost, a forewarn to all that this contains wall of text. A lovely one, though - feel free to sit back, relax, and enjoy my avant-garde approach to this once-mainstream tagging fest.

----------------------------

Tagged by Bima Saddha Prabawa

'Once you've been tagged, you're supposed to write a note with 20
random things, facts, habits or goals about you, at the end choose 10 to be tagged. You've to tag the person who tagged you.', the inscription says.

Should I follow this instruction to its exact demand, anyway? My heart says not. Instead, let me post my visions that I gathered after years of self-researches within - my thoughts and facts of life, my destination-truth journeys, and my unraveled perceiving about the how the universe and one's mind connects. All has led to a conclusion that I stand true : the most beautiful realm possible lies within the depth of your mind.

----------------------------

1) Heavily influenced by http://revolverwinds.deviantart.com/'s majestic, highly-philosophical writing style - 'Your Suicide Letter Had Spelling Errors' is the one I admire the most, no doubt. Ascending self into such level of excellency in this ever-grande literary world may took more than a lifetime...

2) Loves to delve into the world of thoughts and finding inner peace within myself at midnight... Say, psychology is interesting but philosophy is its perfect compliment.

3) As a result of the above, I envision my life as a responsible hedonist. That means - quoting from a very excellent article on elephantjournal - 'creating a pleasurable existence for all—including yourself—and doing what it takes to have that happen'. Is it self-explanatory enough, I wonder?

4) Regarding point #3 above, I often push this very self too hard to achieve this happiness (sacrificing a lot amount of my personal money, even). The grand reward - which is seeing others happy - really pays off in the end, anyway.

5) Also regarding point #3, although I described myself as a kind-of-hedonist I still enjoy the song 'Silent Spica - Anhedonia' (www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkbCgtEVe-0) a lot. Well, I never really cared about a song's title, to be honest - Anhedonia's just a good song being good.

6) Archetype is also another field in psychology that I enjoyed researching myself into - and the archetype I'm atrributed into is the Magician archetype (http://susannabarlow.com/on-archetypes/understanding-the-magician-archetype/). Sometimes I feel like driving myself under the Creator archetype, but the Magician archetype's motto - 'I make things (magic) happen(s)' - fits the most with my point of view about this life.

7) Even before knowing about archetypes, I've been using the term 'magic happens' often in my real life when I was being asked 'How?'. I guess it's futile to resist this own natural call, anyway...

8) One who processes music with left brain, thanks to years of my intense breakcore, IDM, and (mostly) drum'n'bass auditory diet. (Still inferior on processing melodies, though)

9) Heavily introverted - a test on me earlier indicates my introversion level goes as high as 95%. I am currently greatly suffering from a condition called as the 'people exhaustion', which degenerates  into the 'ESFP's Dark Side' (http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/personality/types/intj/stress/ for more details)

10) Regarding point #10 above, I'm not the one who really enjoys hanging out or gathering around (I MUCH prefer recharging self on my room, working on something magical with my laptop or rather spending time alone on my 'haven' [read : Arcades with a lot of rhythm games]). That's what I need the most, really - feel free to read this excellent article (http://www.backtobusiness.org/introvertedleader.pdf) which greatly fits my solitary, yet often-forefront personality.

11) VERY often considered that (I'm) much older than what I currently am. There's this point of my life (three years ago, approximately) where I was perceived as a 'female second-year college student, majoring in English literature'.

12) Without any doubt, creating a LINE account is a thing I regret the most at this point of my life. It made me somehow paranoid with not knowing the latest issue(s) and diminishes my productivity a LOT. I planned on uninstalling it but - well, it seems like people are greatly attached to it nowadays as their primary information sharing scene and it's impossible for me to escape this fiendlike cluster due to this (at least for the time being)

13) Was, at one point on my college life so far, underwent a nomadic life of four exhausting-yet-meaningful days with very minimal time spent on my current residence. This is due to my business and hectic schedule back then, which requires my persistence in various places (ranging from Dago Asri, which is located in Bandung's far north, to Taman Holis, which is located in Bandung's far south). I learned and enjoyed a lot of new things during this nomadic phase, though.

14) Regarding point #13 above, I took shelter in four different places during my pseudo-hermitic outdoor life back then. I have to thank a lot of my internet friends for making this possible and letting me conjure awesome stuffs throughout many places on this one, though!

15) I often foresaw that we're currently living in a world which demands that being only perfect is not enough. The grand puzzle is simple yet intricating - how could one reach out to that very pinnacle?

16) One who pays interest in oneironautism, as you might have known already - succeeded several times on lucid dreaming and out-of-body-experience inducing throughout this year, even. One interesting thing is I began to experience multiple pavor nocturnuses soon enough after I did a research on this, and - yes, I know this might sound crazy - I see pavor nocturnus as a fun-yet-interesting experience that one should try to induce sometimes. (Caution : Highly recommended for one to understand what pavor nocturnus is at first before delving further - side effects from violating this suggestion could cause a disrupting mayhem)

17) Suffers (or blessed?) from Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS) - a somewhat common sleep disorder in which many people wrongly perceives as insomnia. Midnight is the time where I can find absolute light - which, in the synergy with point #2 above, lies beneath own's very labyrinth of thought.

18) My current profile picture is actually my current desktop background (http://i.cubeupload.com/tnNnfx.png), in which I designed for reason no other than productivity. Yes, you're seeing it right - no icons, hidden taskbar, nothing but pure love. Say, I love the shape heart, but - contrary to all my deeply philosophical sayings in the earlier points - it has no meaning, really. It just worked beautifully.

19) It took me more than a week to gradually compile and actually finish this note. The result is far beyond satisfying, anyway!

20) Writing this actually helps reducing my stress level. A lot.

----------------------------

...well, actually I never intended to tag anyone. I never claimed that what I said is the most true, or standing firm without flaw - it's just a guiding, shining beacon that I personally have been following since a routine internal psyclash recurred within my solitude.

----------------------------

In case you're wondering : Yes, the rambling above is my most recent writing (which I posted back then on my Facebook, under Bima Saddha Prabawa - a friend of mine - 's 'challenge'. The outcome was incredibly satisfying, therefore I decided to port the text here for wider audience to read about my then-unrevealed side (:

Genshiken ITB 2013 : A Year of Togetherness

    Click here to view the image in full-size (3200px * 1200px)!   Oh, hi there, blog. We meet again...

First and foremost, a short disclaimer : I made two writings regarding the picture above, actually - one being written in Indonesian (which was posted in our internal Facebook group and mostly tells about our near, hopefully-bright distant future) and the other one which is being written in English (which may look similar at first to the Indonesian version, but leads to a completely different path afterwards)

Nevertheless, both text are a reflection and a recollection of what we (me and my fellow Genshiken ITB 2013 members) have done throughout the past year. Happy reading!

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Indonesian Version

Semua ini berawal dari suatu stand yang berdiri kokoh di acara Open House Unit tahun lalu. Masih segar dalam ingatan rasanya bagaimana stand kecil berspanduk 'Genshiken : Kelompok Studi Budaya Visual Modern' tersebut menarik animo banyak pengunjung, lengkap dengan Danbo, cosplay Ronald McDonald, Live Drawing, Fansub...

Ya, segalanya seolah baru terjadi kemarin. Tak terasa, sampailah kita sampai di titik ini - titik di mana semuanya berulang dari awal mula. Tidak, bukan berarti segalanya akan kembali sama - kali ini, kita semua akan berada pada sisi layar yang berbeda. Kita tidak lagi akan menjadi penonton belaka - kita semua akan menjadi pelakon langsung.

Siapa sangka, stand tersebut merupakan awal dari lahirnya suatu angkatan supersolid yang kerap melahirkan karya-karya akbar? Siapa sangka, 122 talenta berbakat bidang visual modern - suatu jumlah yang sangat masif - dapat terjaring melalui stand kecil tersebut? Saya rasa tidak ada yang menyangka, pada awalnya.

Waktu berlalu, generasi pun berganti. Saatnya kini Genshiken ITB menghadapi tantangan baru dengan anggota-anggota baru pula, yang nantinya akan meneruskan legasi Genshiken ITB dan membawa semangat positif di dunia visual modern. Sebuah kehormatan bagi Genshiken ITB angkatan 2013 untuk memegang tonggak regenerasi melalui acara OHU yang akan dihelat tahun ini, yang - bersama GST tentunya - saya harap akan spektakuler dan menelurkan kader-kader bertalenta lainnya.

----------------------------

Ya, setelah melampaui dua semester bersama rekan-rekan Genshiken, saya membuat kolase-kolase foto ini untuk menapaktilasi kenangan-kenangan tak terlupakan yang telah terukir setahun belakangan. Seluruh foto di kolase ini disusun secara kronologis - nikmatilah, bernostalgialah, karena semua ini merupakan buah kesuksesan dari perjuangan kita bersama selama setahun belakangan.
Akhir kata, semoga aura kesuksesan menyelimuti acara OHU (dan GST) tahun ini, demi Genshiken ITB yang lebih baik~

-Nivalyx

Bandung, 23 Mei 2014 - 01:37 AM

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

English Version

I made that picture above amidst my inability to sleep last night. It's something that I always wanted to do for days, though - well, let's just say I was lucky not to be driven into procrastination last night. They say midnight is the best time for inspiration(s) to come, and yeah - it has been proven very true for me.

Speaking aside, this text is actually something I always wanted to do as well - it's just (for me, at least) dragging my former self to open this site is much, MUCH harder than letting myself toy around with Photoshop. The urge to write this just kept fluctuating frequently...

This text is a pseudo-reflection that tells a lore that me and my friends' crafted through a year in Genshiken ITB - in my personal point of view, needless to say. First and foremost, I'd like to tell that (without any disregard to all of the senior Genshiken ITB members) this text only focuses to the journey of the Genshiken ITB 2013 members (as it's the main point of the picture above)

Err, okay - let's just move on to the main text, shall we?

-----------------------------

Sometime around the third quarter of 2013, at the Open House Unit event:

Can't remember the day, I should say. It's possible for me to backtrack when it all was started, yes, but that that's not my main concern.

A stand with a giant live drawing board (and a catchy bear doll, if anyone remembers) stood solid at the very edge of the exhibition area. Someone I didn't know was roaming around the area while cosplaying as Ronald McDonald, perhaps trying to be an eye-catcher. A television was also there, playing numerous fansubs and live performances. Oh, and let's not forget the Danbo too! Ah, the memories back then...

...haha, yes, that's how Genshiken ITB went at last year's OHU. Chaotic, yet fun and catchy. I can sense many people were attracted there due to Genshiken ITB's reference to Japan's modern culture (anime, ani-songs, etc) which was exhibited back then, although frankly speaking that's not why I decided to join this unit back then. As you may know, I'm not really into animes or mangas and I don't really listen to anime-related songs either (these two earlier posts of mine should tell already that my musical preference is basically ambients, drum'n'basses, and any catchy songs which provides non-linear bass drops or atmospheric feeling from around the world no matter what language). I'm not an illustrator, either - my drawing is terrible. What drew me upon joining this unit, then?

wip ...let this one left abandoned between the shades of mystery - I don't think I'll going to finish this writing soon (:

The Aftermath of the osu! Indonesia Stand in GenCarnival (Do You Believe in Second Chance?)

 This tale tells about a misfortune and a wasted chance; and about how a reversal of fortune could appear in split-second. Beware : this might be considered depressive and mind-blowing.

...still here? Well, don't say you haven't been warned. Back then on sometime around 2009 or 2010, Hakeru and some others (me included) once planned to establish an osu! Indonesia stand on a festival somewhere. This was made into realization (in Medan) by Sumatran through this thread, however due to the lack of Medan-based players at that time, there were no further news about this event (as far as I concerned).

We almost consider that this will be made impossible, but then - four years after, this message changed everything.


...frankly speaking, I'm a member of Genshiken ITB (the organization behind GenCarnival) itself, so let me describe what is GenCarnival itself : It's a creative exhibition. No, it's not a Japanese-themed event (although the influence of Japanese culture is strong on this one, undoubtedly) - the focus of this event is toward the creative industry itself. If you're looking at the collaborators' list, you'll see such as our fellow FaceArt! and MOREBEgames (which isn't related to Japanese culture, to say for a rebuttal example). And yes - I'm taking a role as a double agent somewhat here (as a GenCarnival official and a collaborator through osu! Indonesia)

Fast-forwarding to the D-Day, we got Falkcrown ready as our delegation since 07:00 local time. What happened sequentially in detail after isn't that important, though - this is never intended as a field report as I usually do. What I wanted to describe here is the big picture - the despair and the wrong turn of events.

Later sometime around 09:00, the electricity for the venue went down. We were reported that 'everything's gonna be fine at around 13:00', but as time passes by, everything turned out not to be fine. Emergency electricity was brought up, but is prioritized for the main stage - for the stands itself, electricity was back in around 15:30 or so. Even so, the commander-in-charge of the event only allowed our osu! Indonesia stand to utilize two laptops - had we utilize a power higher than that (for the TV and the speaker that we brought, for example), the electricity will come back down, thus risks the event's safety even further.

I can't help but saying what I (and we feel here) : utter disappointment. We carefully chose GenCarnival not only because we had a connection there (I'm not the only osu! player in that organization - say, - Rii - is actually my senior on that organization albeit being a very passive member) but also because it's a creative exhibition. Yes, I wholeheartedly believe that osu! is much more than a game - it's a media to express art. Many people has proven that true - inverness, Saturnalize, and myself as well to say some (check http://twitter.com/Nivalyx/status/320405785056264192 for proof, I'm sorry but I can't help not to promote my creation here)

Within this boundary we belong to, practically our stand is not possible to exhibit things anymore - the only thing we can do is to play. Yes, showing off one's playing skills with any available laptop, basically. If it's just a regular gathering like we did many times previously, this can be considered as a good thing, but no - in this case it isn't. It's a nightmare.

Why is it so? Because if all we want to do is playing, we don't need to spend our money to rent a stand like this - we could just go to someone's house, put that HDMI cable on that person's own television, and voila - magic happens. Well, it's not the kind of sorcery we want to conjure throughout this event. People are expecting us to show osu!'s creative side, as our forum thread of this event prevail upon. And, oh, let's not forget the arch-nemesis of an outdoor event, which is this:


  Heavy rain! (Photo courtesy of Gatya P.)

...well, okay, ignore the rain - we (GenCarnival officials) had predicted it previously and anticipated with a back-up plan, which worked out. However, without us (osu! Indonesia collaborators) being unable to do what people expected us supposed to do, this event feels hollow. Really hollow. Especially for me myself - the disappointment and self-burden of disappointing many people here (not only osu! Indonesia members or other GenCarnival officials), but to many regular visitors out there as well.

Now here comes another interesting part : who is to blame for this all? I've explained it here, but I don't think it'll hurt if I rephrase it in English:

Later it's revealed that the one responsible for cabling and stuffs (not a GenCarnival official in any way, someone outside Genshiken ITB that we ask to take care of it) put an important cable roll into a wrong plug, thus melting the cable. The entire electricity (even in ITB's College Centre) went down for some time because of it, and although the issue may seem small, the inflicted cost (for the cable itself) - believe it or not - reaches Rp5.000.000,-

When the electricity got back up, the power is insufficient for all stand and the main stage (obviously) being prioritized. This is an interesting case of the butterfly effect, in which 'something small in the past may play a huge role in affecting the future'.

Nah, it's not good to blame anyone in this case, in my opinion. We did our best, and so did the officials. A classic miscommunication-and-misfortune issue also took part on this though, and I see it's not wise to fully blame the logistics or the one that misplugged the cable. Concerning this, the head of this event has spoken an apology to us (through me) personally. Speaking aside the sorrows, had we stick to our original plan, this is what we'll going to show up to the public:

• Indonesian Mappers' Slider Art Compendium - Practically this is the only thing we exhibited there, as this is a physical book and doesn't require electricity. It's a concept book containing slider arts from various Indonesian mappers (right now the contributors are only me, WVS, and Saturnalize but it'll be expanding in the future - its status is still a concept book, though). Here's a shot at the compendium:
  
  It's never meant to be published in a mass to take profit (why would I take profit from a game which isn't created by me and free-to-play for everyone though? It's just very wrong in my opinion) - I arranged the production of this, and I know by myself that this is kind of costly. In the future, we plan to convert this as a constantly-updated .pdf file in which everyone is free to read, with more contributors as well.
• Live Mapping - Mapping is an art, no doubt. In GenCarnival we planned to map this song, an original composed by me and my fellow Genshiken ITB member who goes with the nickname ntLKM. A more-polished version of the song (with cleaner and more diverse instrument samples) were planned, but we're lacking out of time on this.
• Slider Art Tutorial - Self-explanatory.
• Map (Storyboard) Showcase - as inverness himself emerges from his hideout that very moment, we agreed to showcase one of his many storyboards (Open Window, most likely) with the newly integrated Cinema mod once the electricity comes in place. Well, by now you should be able to guess what happened.
• IMMA Video - At this point this is less-known to public, but apparently 10nya and Saturnalize had made a tutorial video about the fundamentals of mapping/timing as part of the IMMA (Indonesia Mapping & Modding Academy) project recently. I've downloaded the video and gotten the permission to play it during this event, but too bad the electricity issue kicks in.
• Talk Show (Sharing) Session - A big success comes to us on this one, actually. Aside from sharing about osu!'s huge potential and its charming creative side, there is something about the next osu! Indonesia Tournament that we spoiled out there. It's not worth to share again what did we spoil here though, as it'll eliminate the surprise factor by miles (the user Susilo Sakata managed to record our conversation with the master of ceremony, though - a footage of this may or may not be uploaded soon)

...well, yeah. Nothing else left to share here but the gloomy feeling, really...

...

...

...

...and the joy of having a foreseeable bright future in our grasp.

As declared by opening sentence, this tale tells about a reversal of fortune. It's not important to understand how it works - it's more important to know that it could happen in a split second.

The time's around 18:00. Within the coldness of the night, the sound of the officials' preparing the second talk show session crawled over the night's tranquil ambiance. Then again, both of Kaegi and Itasha Indonesia's delegation were already ready - as for us, we still have Shurelia missing from the backstage. A huge panic struck us, and while some of our members were in the quest of searching him, rzkadi poked me in sudden whilst delivering an important message:

'Niva, someone over there is looking for you - he said he's looking for osu! Indonesia's contact person number'

Astonished with this news, I ran to the person in particular like never before. It turned out that he is a delegation from Telkom University (Shurelia's university, if you're wondering) who is wandering around GenCarnival in search of probable stands for their upcoming Nihon no Matsuri 7 event. Some negotiations later, and magic happens.


For international audiences, this is the (free) translation of the text above:

Good evening

I'm Aji from Nihon no Matsuri 7, Telkom University's Japanese festival. I want to offer the osu! Indonesia community to participate in our event by opening a stand. If interested, please contact us back

Thanks in advance

And as it's not enough, all of the osu! players I discussed this with there says 'let's do it!' in sudden, and guess what - we had the rent fee (Rp200.000,-) on our hand already.

...yeah, I can't believe it as well. This 'disaster' is indeed a key for us to advance forward - a key for us to penetrate further to the blooming field of brilliance. With osu! Indonesia now has been on the scout's list to fill the empty stands throughout festivals and more, we'll try our best to deliver the very best of osu! upon the fruition of this masterplan. And yes, in the end, it's a honor for us all!

Ah, this miraculous stuff.

Then again, do you believe in second chance, after all? We do.

-----------------------------------------------

EXTRA :

Yet again, even until now, I don't understand the mystery behind how fate works.

Frankly speaking, if I see things from a completely different perspective, I'd be extremely pleased myself. What bewitched me the most is probably the saga of Lightning Wyvern and AllRiseSilver throughout the event - these two has been together for a while but never met each other before GenCarnival. Classic long-distance-relationship story, I know.

Some of you may question me right now : Why is this very important to me personally? Well, the answer is seeing this couple having fun around the event made me happy. I got that feeling at least that 'the Rp250.000,- that we spend here isn't completely useless, in the end'. Combined with the main essay above, I think it's just natural that seeing people happy you're having an emotional bond with could bring bliss as well, and disappointing people you're having an emotional bond with could also made you disappointed. In my case here, I personally think the bond I'm having here is with the community itself in general (as one of the person who has been taking care of osu!'s progression in Indonesia since 2009), not only to these two specific person.

Then again, let's not forget this fabulous moment where Shurelia was interviewed by the host herself:

Indulging Into Wonderful Tunes! - February 2014

Over this past month I've been continuing my search for otherworldly stand-out tunes, and yes - I should say I'm really happy with my findings this month. Without further ado, here you go - magical tunes within the line-up of six, which hopefully can bring you into an another dimension of music!

--------------------------------

-> Yogitea – Ecume et vague de l'âme (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxXFTTrJXFA)



I will start on with a song that I thought deserves to be in the limelight the most - although all six tunes here are all extraordinary already, in my humble opinion.

The story behind this song itself is interesting, though. I'm actually already aware of this song for quite some while, but my mind has only been awakened since I watched this video recently - it appears that these three songs share the same sample (Fuushun is neatly arranged though, I almost wanted to put it here). After further research, however, I was stunned with what I find.

I have to admit that my ears feel some offset changes on the opening parts (some string picks and flute blows aren't that synchronous on the opening), however 6/8 delicacy that the song delivers really shines on 04:02, while the mellow piano blends in with the shimmering sea sounds. Oh, and - finally, this is the album where this song belongs to. I don't know much about the composer (Yogitea) or the 'Terra Humana' mentioned, though ._.

And, no, I don't come into this because of Fuushun, by the way :D

--------------------------------

-> Strife II - My Year In The Rain (Stripped) (https://soundcloud.com/strifeii/my-year-in-the-rain-stripped)



This song also has an interesting story behind it. It is a liquid drum'n'bass song at first, however the composer itself hasn't released this mind-expanding version until recently. Really - this ambiental (the composer took down most of the percussion sounds from the liquid version in this) masterpiece is mind-expanding. It appears that he is also an prolific ambient composer as well, though - here's a link to his other ambiental work, which contains one of the best quotes I've ever seen personally:

doing fine, thank you, I would say, never knowing how to talk about what I do. If I could talk about it, I would not have to do it. I make art, sometimes I make true art, and sometimes it fills the empty places in my life. Some of them. Not all.

Ah, ambient (and its relatives). It's great to see how you never cease to create miracles. For furher reference, this composer had created Protaras, another great flowing piano tune which he also converted into a liquid drum'n'bass tune previously. And yes - this is is one rare moment when I talk to myself often 'why didn't I found this composer earlier', to be honest.

--------------------------------

-> Fanny Fink - Snowdrop (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1a5WcXBq6YY)



Wonderful music knows no barriers. Touching lyrics are a plus, but I myself believe that most of the time deep lyrics were just spices - the main ingredient is the composition itself. There are songs that - although I don't know and not really willing to look up what the lyric really means - had touched me through its subtle and heart-melting composition. And by this tune, Fanny Fink - an indie band from South Korea - has proven to me that.

The song itself is a lovely, calm electronic chill music embraced with Myoi (the vocalist's) subtle vocals. What I loved from the song the most, however, is how it really captured a romantic winter atmosphere (although I personally had never experienced a winter throughout my life) - and, most importantly, the quiet-yet-fascinating demisemiquaver percussions and samples which is spread throughout the song. It's just brilliant.

--------------------------------

-> Shirfine - Raindrops on Your Face (http://soundcloud.com/shirfine/raindrops-on-your-face)



...yes, I know, Ecume et vague de l'âme has a playful melody already, but I see no harm in adding another cheerful tune - so, yeah, here you go!

Shirfine herself is another composer which I've known for a while actually - an extremely talented new age artist she is, no doubt from me. But it is the (very) recent sightings on her returning on her SoundCloud which turns my attention to this composer - once more, with a lovely electronic new age tune. Executed well in Shirfine-style, of course.

I experienced a nostalgic sensation while listening to this with Shirfine's earlier work, Every Piece of Love and Misery. Yes, an excellent work that was - however, this tune's magic really happens when the electronic violin sample kicks in around 2:46, which reminded me of the (arguably) best tune on the album - Heroine in a Tragedy. It's just good that I don't feel like Shirfine's redoing something similar on the said song in this tune - it's just like Shirfine's trying to progress with something new, without leaving her very solid root behind.

--------------------------------

 -> S2Noise - Calcite (Original Mix) (http://soundcloud.com/s2noise/calcite)



Moving to the energetic, uplifting side here! ...well, I don't know much about this composer to be honest (the SoundCloud followers and the Facebook likes count of him isn't that much either), however when I discovered him he made me elicit a smile while streaming his songs - he often remixes/uses sample from popular Western songs (including this one - reward yourself more if you figured out from what song it is, though :D)

I have no idea why the song is named after a mineral (probably due to its Minecraft reference), but the sample comes from a 75 BPM song - and the composer speeds it up a bit, chopped it, and mixed into this tune in a wonderful fashion. Oh, and with the accompaniment of catchy dance beats too.

--------------------------------

 -> LunaticSounds - My love would be unchanged forever (https://soundcloud.com/lunaticsounds/my-love-would-be-unchanged)


...what a wonderful title to end a wonderful playlist, isn't it? (:

Well, the song is a wonderful one as well. The beginning 25 seconds is very Otokaze-ish, which isn't a bad thing actually - especially after LunaticSounds' trademark violin kicks in on 0:48. What's more, five seconds later, a deep bass pattern comes in and gives that chilling, fascinating mellowness! What else could be better?

The answer comes on 1:57 afterwards, after the bridge - it's when the full percussion comes in a broken beat pattern, and the ticking clock sound sample flows in with grace. I can REALLY feel that this song is made by heart, to express a special feeling - resulting in a very deep song without the need of any lyrics. Oh, well, LunaticSounds him (her?)self has created many touching song in his career (Legend, for example) - but this one is really special and different, trust me.

PS : Yes, I know a stand-out song from Otokaze - I'll post it in another playlist sometime else (next month perhaps?), so wait for it!

...for now, I hope you all enjoyed this set!

- Nivalyx