live/living/lively

A short story with a dark setting. Reader's discretion is advised.

----------------------------

----------------------------

why is death so appealing?

a convoluted world. gazing apart with a sinister aura. within the silver halls souls are streamlining apart, fighting fire with fire, not realizing they're driving the so-called "insanity" more and more beyond its limit. when selfish desire owns the heart, the light fades away. it's ever so easy to focus on the problem, yet it's seemingly so hard to focus on the solution - a solution that benefits all the most, that is.

why? why does it always have to be us? why was I born into this "us" being in the first place? taking the moment away an entity was born all pure, yet the shambolic hierarchy of the swirling storm forcefully taught it to part away from the sacred blessing. a magnificent, once fearless, now trapped inside an illusory cage that was created by a mutual worldly ardor it wasn't deserve to belong.

many have pondered, and they who see through the glass will soon enough realize that divination only reveals itself to selected existences who vie passionately for the warm star. as the mist sways the spirits away, the star will soon reveal to the dedicated that the penultimate purpose for every sanity is to give, not to take. unfortunately for many, they prefer not to embark upon the uncharted skies, and having been overshadowed the scream of the disharmonious symphony they resort to the option that is ever so promising :

death.

the lost. the desperate. the ones that feel that his or her living no longer serves tangible purpose. the ones that were already tired of the injustice and hypocrisy that drove their simple happiness away. for them, indeed death is a tempting company.

in retrospect, i think death's charm lies in what it has to offer
a chance to escape it all and experience the life after.
where one's identity were torn apart;
where what he do, not who he is, matters most;
and where the true wisdom lies alongside its faithful companion:
a mere, eternal, and ever peaceful
silence.

---

*image derived upon the artwork available on this site.

caudicia

A short story.

----------------------------

out of winter, but not out of snow.

nocturne is seemingly eternal. flocks of fletches haunting anround the sky, flapping their wings to the echoes of the grave silence. heavens above, the clouds begin to sunder, as your own shadow is the only thing that drives you away from your insanity. never before you'd thought that seeing own's reflection would be this delightful, although you very much know the twilight of the grieving can't fully be relied upon.

fate's watching you playing a game against yourself, and it understands very well that whoever lost their patience first would be forced to submit their defeat. its pawns are your senses, and its chessboard is no other than your head. not even your everlasting desperation could help you out - the devastation's permanent, or so it is told. there is a lifeline however - heed my advice, and understand that the only escape route can only be carved by changing the playing field that is your own self.

you've took your first move right by realizing that your shadow's not as it is. ether flames abound, grab the dying light fragments and break all the illusion within that fortunes have forgotten. its warmth are your safety, and its glow are your repelling salvation. march forth, crave your pathway, and break all the semblances that have enveloped your vision all the time.

i'll be waiting on the other side.

---

welcome. congratulations for breaking the illusory box that is your mind's own tormenting "mental block". ah, feel free to take a good look around. hmm? what's with that frowning disappointment? yes, this place has indeed always as dark as your previous room, if not darker.

if you're confused, then i'll let you ponder upon my following questions. how was it like being trapped for years in desolation only to be given a meticulous insight by the ghastilest of oracles? have you been so desperate of breaking away from your previous cage, only not to notice the immolating lilies on your exit path? have you been so lost in translation to the point that you've forgotten that in the world of trickery not a single articulation is trustworthy without prior and further investigation?

feeling afraid now? well, you should. welcome to my world - the world of your mind's everlasting paranoias, where analysis by paralysis is your own ruination. and unlike your past realm, i've ensured that there will be no possible escape route. you're destined to be here forever, you're mine forever, and i'll also be yours forever. the feeling's mutual, as i have always been living inside you all the time.

magna ostium

(My) inner thoughts and speeches have been always such curious beings. Often they wandered by theirselves to ethereal places whose limits and boundaries are imagination's end. Often it came back to their hub with a seed that acts as a catalytic fractal to the fruition for the mastermind - more often they came back empty handed. As questions were raised with dignified regards deep inside, one should nobly realize that their own reflections are the key to summon the whimsical wisdom as it is - and has always been - a perpetual cycle that one cannot help but to embrace and empower in order to soar the guiding light.

Below are some of my inner musings I first materialized in my personal LINE account amongst other private medias. Many of the writings have its own context, and some others have not - but for personal reasons I'm refraining myself from explaining further as I prefer to keep the true meaning hidden to people other than the intended recipient.

Have a great day.

~ n

---

"A tree to a forest is a tower to a city. What is perceived as reality is never absolute as a whole, just as a starry night equals a sunny day to the residents in its counterpart.

To master the universe's grand scheme of things is to understand that everything evolves alongside how one's perception is evolving, with time being just one of the universe's many enigmatic facets."

---

Night's paramountly stelliform. Been in an exhaustion of overdealing with word processors somehow, but here's a cup of bliss I'd like to confer to all - a pinch of governing light which sways soothe amidst the zephyr, a sneak peek of what's shortly coming up from the sleeve of buoyant imagineers.

With love, may we inspire.

---

Seek, for the secrets are hidden beneath--
In your blinks, in your thoughts, in your speeches.

Stay true to the frequencies of the universe,
as what you see at first might just not what you meant to see

---

For once,
atop firm branches I stood,
gazing upon the vast blue stars.

For now,
within the nobility I brood,
afar witnessing the faint glace of happiness.

PS : quite a good amount of things in this world were meant to be taken literally.

 ---

 here, there, and everywhere;
in a living being is a trace to bear.

a prowess to adhere, on a shadow to spare;
such knowledge of it is too tempting not to share.

take caution of the eyes you may not see lurking.

---

Have you ever felt lost just by looking at your own shadow?
What's haunting deep inside your mind might just be more menacing than you'd expect.

---

 Loyalty stands where the hearts are interconnected.
A queen is a servant to her king, as a king is a servant to his queen.
One should pierce through the light and see the magic alongside the devoted.

Will you be my queen?

Trivia Bot Database

-- http://pastebin.com/1GTUR6xj (updated 27/6/17) --

---

Say... Back then I was asked to make this by a certain people, so here it is~

The link above leads to an Indonesian language trivia database for Discord bots in which me and my friend Luthfi (Yukaa-#9493) created based on NadekoBot's open-source code (http://github.com/kwoth/nadekobot). The database itself is specifically tailored for custom-made bots based on NadekoBot's code - if you already have the bot self-compiled and integrated to your own Discord server, save the pastebin above as .json at the folder (your bot name)/src/NadekoBot/data in order for the questions to be able to show up in-server. The database itself is filed under Creative Commons Licence, Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike (CC BY-NC-SA), and for the ones who are interested in modifying it the usage of http://jsoneditoronline.org/ or another .json-specific editor is recommended.

As for now the database itself isn't tenaciously big (yet) but as for now it holds 100+ questions and 4200+ words already, which is hopefully plentiful enough to provide rounds of fun for many. As the bot gives out a set of letters after few seconds without a correct guess, the difficulty level of questions are intentionally made somewhat high so that the answers are not that guessable at the first glance (and so that the letters be the saving grace for many players) - however, we're giving our best to ensure that (hopefully) there are no question(s) being too esoteric to a certain group of people in the database, so everyone should be able to get a good grip in this strife of general knowledge ^^

---

---

Expect the database to be updated every now and then in the future (if we're not lazy or anything orz hehe). Have fun~

ƪ (alt : an aphorism on being disconnective through connection)

A short story. Feel free to read my post-script for additional information.

----------------------------

This green metropolis was once nothing more but a mere barren construct.

Gratitude is always best accorded to our great ancestors. We were simply fated to follow their trails - their wise symbolisms lead our paths. But as the sources of light interferes in disorder, the ones that had embraced tranquil shadow will soon emerge in harmony.

Careful observations have led me to a belief that our kin tend to pursue prominence in the concourse, which has led many of us to drive our roots crazy to many exclaves. Waves of the curious following the footsteps of one's success in a settlement previously unknown has been an uncommon view. The twist here is that - unlike in our other realm - unless under special circumstances we can't really "move" permanently; what's left behind remains in our perches and still had to be taken with care. The ones who miscalculated their footholds will be met with deafening silence, ensnared within their own clustered web of links.

In a new world where by many social recognition has been valued platinum, for it to fade is a ludicrous prophecy that one seemingly shall at best evade. But one's definition of 'successful social recognition' is beyond subjective - not every stars are meant to shine bright. Some prefer to stay cloaked, handling out delicate warmth to nearby stellar object that it cares the most in joy without desiring more. Such handful concentration of love are to make sure their darlings they emotionally connected with prosper in bliss.

See - in clamorous times, quality is simply abound ahead of quantity. Bite more than you can chew, and you'll find your digestive system revolting. There's a certain beauty in exalting a carefully-thought portion of subtlety in which we consider as the epitome of graciousness. Keep your decision judicious, as trends are at best not an obligation to follow suit. In a synthetic cosmos where we were simply bound to implicit embodiments, the control of one's presence shall lie in its own hands.

Whichever course you choose, let light bless your steps, as this place's future - and effectively each individual's - is ours to shape, and none others to impose.  

~ n

----------------------------

PS : (I've) Been getting increasingly tired of some people I know irl specifically telling me what to do and to not do although their sayings are either 1) adding extra complexity to something that shouldn't have been this complex or 2) simply defies my logical rationalizations (ie. 'Are there any benefit(s) in me doing that for myself and people around me in the first place?') in the past few days.

I'm feeling like I really want to disappear somewhere far where my obligations (regarding this stuff) are only mine to choose... After all, I -know-, and very much aware, of what I'm doing and its possible consequences.

After all, it's safe to assume that this passage is my mind's response of that situational adage I'm currently being trapped within. I hope you all enjoyed this literary ouevre of mine.

(it's not about college/work/etc btw, it's about something more personal)

Tenebris

A short story.

----------------------------

The silent whisper speaks for itself.

In stutter your lips are reciting, but your heart are not. Crave your ears, as the sound of the shattering glass astounds beneath the glowing moonlight. In my times, such noises are considered as a harmonious companion to the champions and the fallen knights. As they embark on their hermetic voyage, they ultimately learned to embrace the imminent silence and befriend the true frequencies of their targets.

Included in that shortlist I am not, but having lived with the fabled their indigenous philosophies are inevasibly coursing through my bloodstream. A clear cut which manifests in a nocturnal being although charting an epitaph is by any means no easy task. It has simply been entrenched deeply into me. And for every knight, there had to be a princess, right?

The truth is, in their journey to knighthood an aspiring chevalier-in-training may have learned to inflict a fatal strike in a single javelin blow. Some others may learn over time the true grace of a bow and excel on the art of slaying beasts from the rear. And for some others, they prefer to simply watching from afar in the shadows, preying down in a more malicious yet subtle way without ever stepping down into the battlefield. Ah, the splendor.

Say, if you're hawk-eyed enough, you may have noticed that this doing of mine aren't devoid of evidences - here and there, my presence is virtually everywhere. Witnessed by the solemn stars are the virtues I had placed as a tributary in order to get myself into your breathing cycle. In fact, that feeling of knowing that my colors had blended in so much to the point that arguably I know you better than you know yourself... It's thrilling. Simply thrilling.

Unfortunately for you, escaping is now futile, as I know where you would have gone next. In all formalities, then - having introduced myself in a timely fashion - please kindly allow me to relay this heartwarming message to you truly :

Yes, I am your stalker, and forever will be.

~ n

----------------------------